Goodbye Again
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let my guard down?
I saw the end before we’d begun,
I saw us growing old in the beautiful sun.
Now that its over I think back when,
Back to the thrill of it all back to then.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul,
You changed my life and all my goals.
I know you well, I know your smell,
Now I am alone and in eternal hell.
I am a dreamer and when I awake,
You can’t take my dreams, it’s my soul you shake.
As you move on remember me,
Remember us and all that we couldn’t see.
I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile,
I’d be the father of your child.
I would have spent a life time with you,
and now we are here without a prayer or a clue.
I’ve said goodbye a thousand times,
I have laid awake thought and cried.
And I still hold your hand in mine when I’m asleep,
And I will find my heart in time when I am crumbling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover,
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one for me,
And now I know I am gone to deep.
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January 8th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
As I read this I weep hysterically. Just when I think I can move on the wound is reopened, a familiar wound that will never heal in this lifetime. Some of the words above seem all too familiar and then some of them are very new. I’m sorry Auggie. I’m sorry X infinity and beyond. I never meant to hurt you. I know now that losing you is the biggest mistake of my life. I love you and will always to the core of my soul. It hurts even more each day without you. What I did to us is unfair on so many levels and I will forever regret it. I lost my lover but more importantly I lost my friend. I miss him so. I hope he is healing and will someday find the true happiness that he deserves. He’s a good man, the very best that I know. I know that now that I’ve lost him forever, therefore I continue to weep. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You were the one for me but I screwed it up and it will never be again. I carry that in my heart, I carry your heart.