Do you know what type of person you are compatible with? More importantly, do you what type of person you are?

There are four values everyone has. They are necessities to make us exist. There are actually a total of six. Four that we need every day and two more that come and go as we need them. Once you understand what order of importance your values are in, then you can understand why the last relationship did not work. Or maybe it is the reason you have been attracted to that person. Let me explain.

The four values are actually called Primal Needs. That is, primal, because you could not exist without all for of them. Here they are:

1. Significance. This value means you strive to impress others in order to look important or greater than others. You always need to be better or seem more important than those around you.

2. Love and Connection. This value means that you like attention. You like ti when people notice you. you are more sensitive to others around you and look for them to accept and like you.

3. Certainty. This value means that you look for constants in life. Typically you need to have everything planned out. You like to know what is coming next and hate surprises.

4. Variety. This value means you like to live life on the edge. You love surprises and don’t like schedules. FLying by the seat of your pants is fun for you.

Those are the four Primal Needs. You should make a mental note which one ranks number one for you, two, three and four. Or write them down. It never hurts to take notes about yourself.

There are two more Primal Needs, these two are needed and used when you are growing. Growing could mean mentally, spiritually, etc..

5. Contribution. You feel the need to help out. You want to volunteer or donate to a good cause (because you feel good, not because of some tax deduction).

6. Need for Growth. You want to learn more. You seek guidance from a mentor, a book, a video, anything that helps you learn more about the world around you.

Now rank your self with all six. You may find you are no all six and only the first four. That is fine. Keep in mind, there are no rights or wrongs here, no good or bad. Just an order of importance to you.

So now you have your order of Primal Need importance, right? Now, the hard part, how do you get your Primal Needs? The ‘how’ is called the vehicle. So what is your vehicle to your number one primal need? Let’s say your number one is Significance. How you do you get the feeling of significance? In other words, what is your vehicle to getting significance? Is it money? Is it your wits? The vehicle is what fails and why we get upset or feel sad or get depressed. The vehicle is what needs to be changed or fixed when we are not ourselves. Some people’s vehicle to Love and Connection is depression. The get people to feel bad for them and that fulfills there Primal Need of Love and Connection.

So, now you have your Primal Needs ranked, you hopefully have figured out your vehicles to at least your top two Primal Needs, so now, how do you find someone you are compatible with?

Easy! Find someone that falls in line with your primal needs. If your number one is Significance, obviously you do not want some one whose number one is significance also. You would both be fighting each other for significance. Although on the flip side, if your number one is variety, you would want to find someone else that has variety as their number one as well. The key is to understand who you are and what makes you tick, then find someone to fit in with what makes you tick.

Now, I know you can not just meet someone and then ask them, “Can you please fill out this questionnaire before we get to know each other?” Instead you need to watch them and figure out their value system and rank them on the Primal Needs. Then you can determine if they are someone you want to get to know better.

Those of you that are in a relationship already could actually sit down with your significant other and figure out together what your Primal Needs are ranked. you may be surprised what your lover ranks you at.

I know this is a lot to take in and I have just touched on the subject. There are many books written about this and a lot of information online.

Just remember, if you don’t know who you are, how can you expect someone else to?