There are so many dreams I have of you,
Loving thoughts and of something so true.

Where in the world does your mind take you now,
Is it here, or do you create the place somehow.

I want to be in your dream and share with you,
This thought or feeling I have so new.

I dream of the love so pure and light,
Thats when my demons enter this fight.

Black and evil the eclipse covers all,
Takes my love and I begin to fall.

I am the one with the heart filled with the sun,
I am the one that has no fear and this time I am the one.

Although the black terrors that stalk my night,
Just opened up my closet, the skeletons come to life.

I did what I was told, I let them die,
Now my skeletons haunt my existence and want me to die.

I did what I did, I have no regrets,
I just sleep with one eye open and half on the bed.

Wait here I just heard a sound,
My skeletons tricked my and strike me down.

Yet I wake in the morning alive and well,
No memory of the dream or tale to tell.

I live this life always looking behind,
There is no love strong enough for my kind.

I have demons that keep my skeletons coming,
They remind me of what I did and keep something.

No, you don’t want to be near cause I live in fear,
This day and the next and worse I have no tear.

I walk through the valley with the shadows of death,
They fear me now and I have taken their breath.

I shall fear no evil in my morbid nights of thought,
Stand in the black and drown the demons that fought.

Something has awaken my blackness from within,
I have the itch to do something that will look like sin.

Although you have not done what I have done,
You never killed them and blotted out the sun.

You know my name yet you know nothing of my shame,
My feelings that the night or the burden of hell I carry to blame.

You think you know dark and evil yet you have never known my equal,
I will take the breath and sound of a kitten sleeping without weeping.

I will poke the heart of a lover steal their feelings and thunder,
Break the solid ground and make a solid man blunder.

I am the wretched dark you thought you feared,
covered in hate and I have stolen all your tears.

Retreat to you safety there is none for you,
I will hunt and your death I will have too.

I am the blackened sky filled with no remorse,
What I have done you will never know the source.

I am the evil you cry about in the dark,
Reach through your blankets and leave no mark.

Fear is the reason I am here silencing your loud,
I am already dead and you just joined me now.

I try to press forth and carry no scars,
Yet all I have are pain and burnt marks.

You don’t know what I have pushed through,
Yet I try to erase the past and become true.

I am all that I was when I thought I was more than I am,
Now I realize that Karma has paid her visit, I can’t swim.

I need you now, yet I don’t call your name,
Heart filled with sorrow and shame.

I am the one you left behind,
Never realizing I was the one to die.

You look back at me with your scorn,
All I wish is love and the death of it I mourn.

Dream now its time to wake,
Tell the lies and more to fake.

Smile happy for the world to see,
Yet scream my name when you glare at me.

Death is all around,
Killing me violently no sound.

I see you yet you are not here,
I have drempt of you cant you be real.

I am the illusion that never was the one,
Yet I still stand here burning in the sun.

I have been in your grasp you have no idea,
I think too much maybe you are already near

I feel you all around in my mind no sound,
I want to touch you and say you I found.

Although you remain in the corner of there,
And I am just and illusion I know you cant care.

When my time comes I will stand and try to be,
All that you want and everything you need.

Most of us know where we have been and we move quietly through life repeating the same act and recreate the same experience in a different place or with a different person over and over. We don’t realize what we have done to slot ourselves into this groove and continue without a fight and stay in the rut laid out before us.

How many times do we look behind and realize that the groove we are in is not deep enough to hold us. Not high enough to keep us stuck in the place we feel like has become standard. The rut or groove is not the problem, we are.

Have you ever looked behind and realized sometimes taking a few steps back is better then ten steps forward in the same direction?

Looking behind can cause our minds to wrap around the fact that the groove we are so comfortable with is not the groove we should be in. The life we live can be changed by looking back, learning from our mistakes, making changes to the present and effectively recreating our future.

Where have you been all your life? Have you ever thought about that question? Where have you really been. What have you really done. And most importantly, where are you going to and ultimately where are you going to end.

A friend pointed out that we all expire at some point and while I have my own beliefs and evidence to prove otherwise, lets run with that for a second. How many times do you think about where you will end up. We come up with these outlandish dreams that have no chance of being true and no way of becoming our futures yet we dream them. Or maybe you are realist and your dreams are not so big, so your dream can come true. Yet you do nothing to dream larger.

Look behind you. You may find the dreams you have today are not the dreams you had yesterday and all you are doing is NOTHING to make them reality.

Where have you been all my life……right behind you.

Stop, turn around and look behind you once in a while. You may be surprised what you find.

At first I thought,
I thought of you.
Then the light from above,
Shined its way through.

I knew it couldn’t be,
I am the past, I am not you,
The forgotten middle and end,
The beginning you destroyed too.

I thought I was dreaming,
For once I could see bliss,
Then I realized I’m still here,
And you left me with all this.

Maybe it’s time I hang it up,
Through all the pain I saw truth.
Then you tore it all apart,
And all the love you took with you.

I have no concept of love and pain,
No delusions of what I have done.
What’s your reason and excuse,
Tore my heart out and then some.

Believe me when I tell you,
I am nothing of what I was.
Yet you revel in your win,
Like it was a competition with us.

I love… is a phrase I cannot use,
It has gone from my soul.
This corpse is all I have left,
My story will be left untold.

I am the wind and the rain,
I have no business being here.
I am the night and the moon,
And there is no more time I fear.

I leave you my dream,
That shall never belong.
I leave you all the misery,
And the sadness of my song.

What is the point anymore?

I give up.

I am glad everyone around me gets what they are searching for.

I am happy for everyone else.

I am the piece of shit that deserves nothing I guess.

What a life.

Completely wasted.

I listen to you sighs and all your cries about him,
And the same thought rings through,
You never cared like that for me.

I hear your sadness and feel your pain as I hear you,
And the same thought rings through,
You didn’t love even close to that.

I listen to your stories and wait for your calls,
And the same thought rings through,
I am back where I started, waiting for you.

I try to comfort you when you are upset,
And the same thought rings through,
You were never this in love with me.

I listen to your ideas and changes you want to make,
And the same thought rings through,
None of them are based on anything to do with me.

I empathize with your desires and wants and needs,
And today the same thought rang through,
You never even started the reason you gave me for staying away.

And now I sit alone and realize nothing has changed,
And tonight the same thought rings through,
You will never care for me ‘that way’ and I am just a sucker.

It was, still is and your lies continue to blind you. Find someone else’s heart to rip out and spit on.

You were not the one,
you didn’t show me the sun.

Your heart did not return my call,
and now I have no strength at all.

I didn’t want to run away,
All your lies caused it this way.

There is no way I could stay in your arms,
All your fairy tales just caused me harm.

If I was not made for you then why,
All I have now is the feeling to die.

You are not the one and my soul is dead,
Lost in the love that was a lie in your head.

I don’t understand your hand fit mine,
Then all your lies, you they quickly defined.

I feel sorrow for those lives you touch,
I know your lies will tear them apart as much.

I wished you were the one I died with,
Now I’m just happy my life I escaped with.

Is there anyway I can erase this memory,
I don’t need it you just caused misery.

You are not the one for me,
All I can do is run away so you can’t see.

You are not the one,
All you did was destroy my sun.